We sit late

We sit late, watching the dark slowly unfold:
No clock counts this.

(Ted Hughes)




Recently, I took up living again.

It's not bad.

Living and actually feeling alive makes me want to dance and so, I started dancing again too.

I saw this movie once. In the movie an old woman said:"You know, I was a diver!"
When I will be old, I will want to say:"You know, I always was and always will be a dancer!"

Starting to dance again is a real breakthrough for me.

And at the place where I was dancing the tango, I was having a beer with two older men.
One man said he was happily divorced and then they both looked at me:
"What about you?"
I said:"yes, I'm happily divorced too!" and added a smile for the sake of playfulness.

I gather it helps to make statements like that because, even if they are not completely accurate, they make you want to make them accurate.

I put on my shoes and walk in the room as I always do, on my own but confident to make a good entrance. I watch people and sometimes they watch me too.

And between the lines, I see I'm writing again.

(LB)


Sometimes all it takes is to be conscious of the fact that one doesn't need to forget in order to start over. The easiest thing to do but most difficult thing to digest is to be consumed with anger because you were not loved while you thought you were and thus you were tricked into loving.

But let's assume you loved someone that thought he loved you back but didn't know how to love. You can only hope that one day they will learn to love and in the mean time feel sorry for them that they didn't live that time together as intensely as you did.

So take a minute to remember all the adventures that have made your life so much richer because you took those risks!! And never hesitate to be adventurous again if this is your nature!

And so little people know the real secret! Not many people know that what they give up because they are afraid of boredom can actually lead to the best adventure in life. Fear will always stop people from doing the most beautiful things in life and later, they will always be sorry.....like for not embracing the fact that you have found your soul mate and you should move on together. Resist it and you've missed it, let's say! Yes, they will discover this in their search for what they could have had already long time ago and they will always keep complaining.

Alas

Well, this whole sentimental and corny tale would imply I am some kind of Barbara Cartland but I just want to say that you shouldn't regret anything because it takes too much energy that you could actually use for positive things.

Also, by not regretting too much you gain more trust in the future, I'm starting to see that now even if I didn't as yet find what I have always wished for.


(LB)